Nostalgia

It's been fun going back and reading some of the stuff I wrote 4, 5, 6 years ago. I was so full of piss and vinegar. Now I'm just old and angry and far too tired to muster the strength to do anything but bitch.

I suppose this is where my desire for self re-discovery started. I used to be passionate! I used to be active! I used to be...

I've decided that some of what I do for a living is the culprit, and some it is just age. I think I bought into some of the hype I used to spew: DON'T TRUST ANYONE OVER 30!

Well, I'm over thirty now so do I not trust myself anymore? Affirmative

It's pretty sad when you get to a point in your life when you don't trust yourself. I was my own advocate for 15 years and was so good at it I turned it into a profession and forgot who the number 1 person was in my life. Me.

Reading things that I wrote in the past makes me want to be friends with myself. That girl is hilarious. She is a spit-fire. She seems smart.

I don't feel any of those things right now. Perhaps this is why I'm crushing on my former self right now. I want to know her. I want to spend all night talking in the dark with her. I want to have an illicit affair with my former self because from where I stand, she was fucking amazing.